Monday, May 7, 2012
Back From the Dead
FIRST BLOG SINCE OCTOBER 2011
Back From the Dead
Where has time gone? Hard to believe it has been 7 months since I wrote anything; but then again, the way I have recently been feeling, I am back from the dead... emotionally that is.
It is hard to put into context how I’ve been feeling since my operation last September 26th. I’ve nothing to compare it to. If there was ever a feeling of feeling “dead”... this is as close as I ever what to come. Imagine being motivated to do everything you need to do only because that is what people are expecting from you. Wife, children, associates at work, customers, dog... you understand. Imagine feeling that way and being unsure if you will every snap out of it? Imagine you have been walking with the LORD for 34 years and you can’t “feel” anything. I have always been an emotional and passionate individual, and although I understand we walk by “faith,” I have always had an appreciation for the presence of God in my life. Yes, I feel God. “.... thy rod and staff, they comfort me...”
Not sure if comfort is related to feeling the LORD; however, I understand better now, I need to take comfort, when you don’t feel comforted. “.... and without faith, it is impossible to please him.” We move forward towards the promised, because he who promised, has demonstrated his faithfulness in the past.
Paul said, “.... when I am weak, then I am strong...” I say, when I am weak, I am a weakling! I understand Paul was talking about running out of his own strength and finding the LORD to sustain him. I am saying, when I got weak, I got lame. I was reminded that “.... that I am but grass...” Weak, feeble, lame, tired, worth-less to the LORD, the LORD’s service, my family and the lost.
Thank the LORD, I've been brought through the storm, and find myself almost in my right-mind. Emotions are returning and I am feeling closer to being myself again... I like being me. I like the way the LORD has made, and I appreciate all the LORD has done for me. I appreciate, my family, the believers, and friends, and the folks I work with.
As far as the cancer, I have been cancer free since September. I thank, the LORD, my wife and children, the Saints (Believers), and all those who fear God, who the LORD has taken notice of, that have prayed for me; I pray you have a vision, and find Jesus Christ as you personal LORD and Savior.
Lesson Learned: The LORD created us. “.... we are wonderfully made,” We need all the pieces and parts the LORD created us with... to be “normal.”
I hope to wright again soon.
Blessings - Mark